Greyheart Finnished...(I think.)

[| Soul |]

Name: Grayheart
Age: 22 moons
Gender: Tom
Rank: Warrior
Clan: MistClan
Breed: Siberian
Personality:

Greyheart happy cat, that hardly gets angry. He loves kits and apprentices for their spirit. He can be much like an apprentice himself at times. Fighting is one of the least liked things he has to do. His surroundings matter greatly to him as he is or thinks that he is being followed. He is a caring cat that loves everyone. He likes to answer questions and can be a good mentor. He has no issues with anyone.

Apperance:

Greyheart is a Grey, White, and Black cat. He has long fur, but his most noitice able feature is his bright blues. He is very well muscled. His teeth are a bit longer than the usual cats, so he makes for a better fighter. His fur is soft and always well groomed. He has long white wiskers that help him stay alert. He is missing the tip of both his right ear and his tail. They are both results of a battle between some rogues and the Clans. He has a long scar going down his flank the hair around it nearly covers it completely.

History:

Grayheart once had many brothers and sisters, but none live to this day. They were all killled by a mysterious rogue that seems to stalk him. Various encounters with the rogue have scared Grayheart and keeps him aware of his surroundings at all times. Due to the fact that he doesn't exactly blend in during the winter makes him even more on edge. His favorite memory for him was when he saved a mother and her kits from a flood. They later joined the Clan and the kits are now loyal warriors. His most recent memory was a gang of rogues attacked their Clans. It was devistating, and the Clan lost two warriors. He still greives over them.

RPG Example:

Ima put a pic instead:

[Frosty]

Here, I think you should really look over your post when your finished, and correct your things. If you don't have a spell checker, use Microsoft Word, if you don't have that, use one here. I've also noticed you sometimes use 'he' instead of 'she' or 'she' instead of 'he' in your bios. If you look over it, it can make a large difference

[| Soul |]

Thanks for noticeing! That was pretty bad. Anyway Fixed!

[Frosty]

Yeah, I'm one of those Nazis. Another thing, I noticed after you edited your bio, you said, 'Soulstar' and 'Soulshadow' insteah of 'Greyheart.' You also forgot some commas, which makes it that harder to read it. I've heard this history somewhere-I think, tell me wrong if I am. The personality is short, but enough to tell what Greyheart acts like, I recommend putting some more specific things in you personality like 'Greyheart hates kittypets and rogues, he will attack any if they are found anywhere in his clan territory.'

[| Soul |]

I fixed the names...but still need to fix much much more...


Edit: is that any better? I having a writers block so I can't
think.

[Frosty]

Looks pretty good ^^.I see no grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes whatsoever.

[| Soul |]

Yay1 Will you accept it? I dont find it fair for admin to accept their wn characters

[Frosty]

Yush, it is accepted.